My husband gets me. The other day I got some very sad news. While I was processing the information I started tearing up the kitchen floor. Peter came in and found me on the floor picking away at the 70 year old vinyl and didn't say a word about the mess I had created. Yesterday he said to someone: "she didn't have clover to pull and I know she needed that release." That's when I knew that he understands me. The funny part is that he got me before I got me. I didn't realize that's what I was doing, a home remodeling version of picking clover. He's a good man, this one.
The sad news I received is that a dear friend in Salem had lost her son. He died. His funeral was today. He was 19 years old. This young man had played with my children when they were younger. He was an adventurous kid. He lived life on the edge. At his service they read a poem he wrote when he was 14. It was very insightful. He was the "troublemaker" and teachers didn't know what to do with him. He couldn't turn down a triple dog dare and he needed to fly. His friends got up and told stories of how smart he was and the dares he took. They will all miss him. How could they not?
The sadness I feel for my friend is incomprehensible, yet I'm sure it's nearly nothing to the sorrow she is experiencing.
No one should ever have have to bury their child. We need to hug our babies (no matter how old they are) and hold them tight. We need to love them and tell them we love them. We need to accept them for who they are, we need to embrace their uniqueness. A week ago I may have complained about my children's choices but perspective convinces me they are wonderful and perfect just the way they are and I won't complain. I know I'm feeling melancholy (it's been a hard day) and time and distance will probably again make me question their decisions. But for now, I just wanted to hold them, just like they are.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Friday, February 15, 2013
Friday evening at the Willingdon's - Vern get's sloshed!
It all started out so innocently. Peter was working late and dusk was settling upon this little house on the ditch. The alpacas were out in the pasture and it was time to bring them in.
I haven't had much luck wrangling 4 alpacas by myself but I was resolved to get it done tonight. With determination and perhaps a bit of foolishness I headed out to the pasture. Chupa came right to me. She's so easy! Surprisingly Chaca - one of our new girls - came right to me as well. Cadbury and Cheeka weren't so keen on the idea. After hanging on to two and chasing two for a while I decided it wasn't working. It wasn't going to work so I gave up and brought the first two to the barn. When I got back to the pasture Cadbury was quite distressed as she had never been separated from Chupa before and was ready to go. Now. She wasn't very interested in helping me round up Cheeka so I took her to the barn as well.
That meant three alpaca were in and one alpaca was out. That should be manageable! The problem was, she simply didn't want to come in. I chased her around the pasture for 10 minutes and finally got her cornered by the gate. I was so pleased with myself. I stuck to it and I was going to have all the alpaca in... by myself! As I approached her she went low to the ground and "POOF" she was under the gate and out of the pasture! Loose in the big old scary world!
I don't generally have a potty mouth any more but expletives flew. By now it was well past dusk. It was dark. Cheeka is black. Not a good combination.
I called Peter. He didn't answer his phone. Even if he had it's not like he could have come home instantly anyway but at least he could not dawdle once he was through with his patients. I pondered my options. Cheeka would not let me approach her - if I moved toward her it just made her go farther. I tried to tempt her with grain in my pocket. That didn't work in the pasture and it sure didn't work out of the pasture. I called Peter again. Still no answer. In a panic and with very little other resources I called the freighbor. I barely had to get out the words: "alpaca's loose" and she said "we're on our way!"
She and Vern, her husband, showed up in mere minutes. It didn't take long for Shelly and I to get her between us but she bolted before we could get close enough. She ran south. She ran past Vern and we lost her in the dark. We looked and looked with no luck. I decided to go get her sister, hoping she would be able to tempt Cheeka into joining us. On the way to get Chaca I spotted Cheeka in the newly dug vegetable garden. We closed in, she bolted, heading north. Vern and Shelly went north, I went to fetch Chaca who really wasn't very happy about being drug out in the dark to be bait for her sister. We spread out with flashlights and headlamps searching in the brambles, through the neighbor's fields, we looked in the creek, across the road, in the woods. We looked for over an hour and found no sign of her. I tried to call Peter a couple more times with still no answer.
I put Chaca in the pasture with the hope that she would draw Cheeka to her and then continued my quest.
I wanted to cry. I'm not REALLY a farm girl - I just play at being one and I just couldn't imagine where my lost girl could be. How far would she go? What would she do over night if we couldn't find her? I told myself that I could not give into the luxury of sitting down in the field and sobbing like a baby no matter how badly I wanted to. I had to fix this.
Two hours into this adventure I was searching down the back laneway and heard a big splash. At first I thought it was Cheeka but then realized the splash had a flashlight. Vern had tried to jump the back ditch and didn't make it. :( Poor Vern got wet. Sloshed even.
Vern and I followed the alpaca's usual path to the barn and I poked my head in and said "there are my first two.." and Vern said: "there are three in there!"
Sure enough, I took a second look and there was Cheeka, standing by the stall without a care in the world! relief washed over me.
I briefly considered leaving Chaca out in the pasture for Peter to get but we had to go out and fetch Shelly - who was now lost in the dark somewhere. It wasn't long before I rounded up both of them and we headed back to the barn. Just as we rounded the corner by the house we bumped into Peter - who had just gotten home. Nice timing I say! He had accidentally left his phone home and was sorry to have missed all the fun.
As of this moment I don't think I'll be attempting to wrangle alpacas by myself anymore. I might change my mind one day in the far distant future but for now, nope, I couldn't possible handle too many more nights like this.
I haven't had much luck wrangling 4 alpacas by myself but I was resolved to get it done tonight. With determination and perhaps a bit of foolishness I headed out to the pasture. Chupa came right to me. She's so easy! Surprisingly Chaca - one of our new girls - came right to me as well. Cadbury and Cheeka weren't so keen on the idea. After hanging on to two and chasing two for a while I decided it wasn't working. It wasn't going to work so I gave up and brought the first two to the barn. When I got back to the pasture Cadbury was quite distressed as she had never been separated from Chupa before and was ready to go. Now. She wasn't very interested in helping me round up Cheeka so I took her to the barn as well.
That meant three alpaca were in and one alpaca was out. That should be manageable! The problem was, she simply didn't want to come in. I chased her around the pasture for 10 minutes and finally got her cornered by the gate. I was so pleased with myself. I stuck to it and I was going to have all the alpaca in... by myself! As I approached her she went low to the ground and "POOF" she was under the gate and out of the pasture! Loose in the big old scary world!
I don't generally have a potty mouth any more but expletives flew. By now it was well past dusk. It was dark. Cheeka is black. Not a good combination.
I called Peter. He didn't answer his phone. Even if he had it's not like he could have come home instantly anyway but at least he could not dawdle once he was through with his patients. I pondered my options. Cheeka would not let me approach her - if I moved toward her it just made her go farther. I tried to tempt her with grain in my pocket. That didn't work in the pasture and it sure didn't work out of the pasture. I called Peter again. Still no answer. In a panic and with very little other resources I called the freighbor. I barely had to get out the words: "alpaca's loose" and she said "we're on our way!"
She and Vern, her husband, showed up in mere minutes. It didn't take long for Shelly and I to get her between us but she bolted before we could get close enough. She ran south. She ran past Vern and we lost her in the dark. We looked and looked with no luck. I decided to go get her sister, hoping she would be able to tempt Cheeka into joining us. On the way to get Chaca I spotted Cheeka in the newly dug vegetable garden. We closed in, she bolted, heading north. Vern and Shelly went north, I went to fetch Chaca who really wasn't very happy about being drug out in the dark to be bait for her sister. We spread out with flashlights and headlamps searching in the brambles, through the neighbor's fields, we looked in the creek, across the road, in the woods. We looked for over an hour and found no sign of her. I tried to call Peter a couple more times with still no answer.
I put Chaca in the pasture with the hope that she would draw Cheeka to her and then continued my quest.
I wanted to cry. I'm not REALLY a farm girl - I just play at being one and I just couldn't imagine where my lost girl could be. How far would she go? What would she do over night if we couldn't find her? I told myself that I could not give into the luxury of sitting down in the field and sobbing like a baby no matter how badly I wanted to. I had to fix this.
Two hours into this adventure I was searching down the back laneway and heard a big splash. At first I thought it was Cheeka but then realized the splash had a flashlight. Vern had tried to jump the back ditch and didn't make it. :( Poor Vern got wet. Sloshed even.
Vern and I followed the alpaca's usual path to the barn and I poked my head in and said "there are my first two.." and Vern said: "there are three in there!"
Sure enough, I took a second look and there was Cheeka, standing by the stall without a care in the world! relief washed over me.
I briefly considered leaving Chaca out in the pasture for Peter to get but we had to go out and fetch Shelly - who was now lost in the dark somewhere. It wasn't long before I rounded up both of them and we headed back to the barn. Just as we rounded the corner by the house we bumped into Peter - who had just gotten home. Nice timing I say! He had accidentally left his phone home and was sorry to have missed all the fun.
As of this moment I don't think I'll be attempting to wrangle alpacas by myself anymore. I might change my mind one day in the far distant future but for now, nope, I couldn't possible handle too many more nights like this.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Have you Herd??!!
It's been an exciting week around here!
A week ago Sunday I asked Peter if he wanted to go to the ReStore with me. You just gotta love that place. It's like GoodWill for construction materials. The best of both worlds. After a few minutes of thinking things through, I changed my mind and said, "Never mind - I'll just find doors or stuff I'd like for the studio, but we don't have time to use and then we'll just have to store them and I'll just torture myself and it's not worth it." I did not mean it snarkily - but really, what was the point of going? Peter drug us there anyway and just like I thought, we found the perfect doors for my studio. Despite my dread of just getting things we have to store and not use, we got them anyway and with a little help from my freighbor Shelly we even got them home. By Monday night we had one set of doors mostly installed:
A week ago Sunday I asked Peter if he wanted to go to the ReStore with me. You just gotta love that place. It's like GoodWill for construction materials. The best of both worlds. After a few minutes of thinking things through, I changed my mind and said, "Never mind - I'll just find doors or stuff I'd like for the studio, but we don't have time to use and then we'll just have to store them and I'll just torture myself and it's not worth it." I did not mean it snarkily - but really, what was the point of going? Peter drug us there anyway and just like I thought, we found the perfect doors for my studio. Despite my dread of just getting things we have to store and not use, we got them anyway and with a little help from my freighbor Shelly we even got them home. By Monday night we had one set of doors mostly installed:
Peter had to say something about my pessimism and didn't he prove me wrong! Yes, he did. But also, maybe I just learned that a little bit of pessimism get's things done around here. Hmm... I better be careful not to let him in on my new knowledge AND I better be careful not to abuse such power.
I've spent my days off this week cleaning and organizing the stuff in the studio. Removing lumber and pipes and shade cloth. Not to mention possum poo, rats nests, birds nests and other heebie jeebie kinds of things. Ewww. We're almost ready for insulation. I'm very excited! If I squint real hard I can see the light at the end of this fiber studio tunnel!
Friday we went to the new feed store down the road. It's not as close as the local one but this one has an assortment of friendly barnyard animals, as well as a very friendly blue and gold macaw and a whole room of chicks called ChickenLand (the room not the chicks). You know how I like chicks!
When we got there, our first stop was the barnyard. They had chickens, turkeys, pheasants, ducks, quail, some goats, a miniature donkey and two alpaca. The donkey was being very nasty to the two alpaca and the alpaca were fighting back with some pretty sloppy spitting. I've never seen such a hullabaloo.
After we admired all the chicks and made some decisions about the breeds we'll get when we are ready, we happened to bump into the owner of the place. A very nice man named Matt, who also happens to be an old friend. We were talking about the donkey and the alpaca relationship issues and Matt asked if we wanted the two alpaca. Umm... YEAH!! The donkey was a family pet and these are recent additions to their barnyard. They had purchased them at the local farm auction for $5.00 a piece and were willing to just give them to us because he knew they'd would be well taken care of at our house.
Free alpaca? That's even better than the ReStore! They were named Darcy and Darla. Not names I love and since these were new names, the girls didn't really answer to them anyway - not saying that alpaca ever really respond to their names. The one with the white patches on her face is now named Cheeks or Chica and the other one (the one with the impossibly long eyelashes) hasn't told us what her name is yet. I think she'll let us know soon. Please feel free to make suggestions - naming things has always been hard for me.
Cadbury and Chupa seem to be mostly fine with their new herd members. There is a little posturing, some serious smelling and all that "hey! you're new!" stuff. Alpaca are herd animals - they prefer living life in a group. I'm certain that our little herd of 4 will be a peaceful and harmonious place in no time at all.
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