Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby girl!

It might be 50(mumble mumble mumble) years past due - but I would like to issue the following announcement.

I would like to announce the birth of Carla.
Younger sibling to Jerry and Sharon Hotho.

Those of you who know me, probably know I am adopted.  It's never been a secret to me, or to my brother (who is also adopted).  I have never felt like it was something that needed to be hidden.  I haven't, however, generally shared that I had other siblings.

The short version is:

  • A woman named JoeAnn got married and in about 1951 had a child she named Gary.
  • JoeAnn got divorced shortly after Gary was born.
  • In 1955 she had a child and gave this child to the childless Hotho couple who cherished this boy (that looked like a monkey - according to my mom) and named him Jerry.
  • In 1959 she had another child and gave this child, as well, to the now not-childless Hotho couple who gladly welcomed a non-monkey looking baby.  They named her Sharon.
  • JoeAnn got re-married and in 1961 had another child and named her Carla.

Really - that is about the shortest version of this story that is even remotely possible.

JoeAnn has since passed away.  Gary has as well.

Through the wonder of FaceBook Sharon, Jerry and Carla have found each other.  An amazing feat seeing as how Carla lives in Nebraska, Sharon in Washington and Jerry in Florida.  We span the US.

This past weekend Carla was in Oregon fishing for Salmon at the mouth of the Columbia River.  That was way to close for me to not go see her.

So after 53 years - I finally met my baby sister.


Peter and I picked her up and we went sightseeing in the Columbia gorge.  While we shared life stories Peter acted as chauffeur and was (not so) stealthily in the background taking photos.  We compared shoe sizes, hair color and blood pressure.  We talked about our kids - she has two and our animals - she has horses and chickens and dogs.  We talked hobbies and passions and skills.  She loves horses and can't cook.  I love food and can manage to feed myself quite nicely.  And we talked about her mother.  I learned a lot.  I was never overly curious about "my roots" while growing up.  I had loyalty for my parents and loved them very much.  Part of me felt that pursuing that information would some how have been disloyal to my parents.  I think mom would be more than pleased with this turn of events.

Carla's life was not easy.  JoeAnn's life was not easy.  Gary's life was not easy.  I don't feel their stories are mine to tell but Carla says Jerry and I were the lucky ones.  I believe her.

What I can share is that JoeAnn's mother was 1/2 Cherokee Indian.  JoeAnn was 6 feet tall and wore a size 10-1/2 shoe.  Information I found utterly fascinating!  It helps explain why my son has hit 6' 3".

As Jerry and I were growing up my mother never stopped being grateful to JoeAnn for giving her the gift of children.  She sent JoeAnn letters and updates and photos.  JoeAnn saved all these things.  Carla brought them all to share with me.  How cool is that??  She also brought me several photos of  her mother.


At our initial meeting Carla and I both expressed a desire to eventually be able to call each other sister.  I think we have made major strides to this end.  It's not an easy thing to take a virtual stranger and call her family.  It takes time.   It's a work in progress.  In the mean time we need to pull Jerry into this  and are trying to plan a family "union" - as we can't call it a reunion - next winter.  Jerry and his family, Carla and her family and, of course, my tribe.

There you have it.