Going Postal

I have been a USPS employee nearly a year now.  In the past month I've worked a lot of hours and I don't like it.  When I hired on I agreed to one day a week.  Budget being what it is, reality tells me that 2 days a week is a much better fit for my bill payment schedule. So I have willingly agreed to two days a week.  However, there has been one "crisis" after another since May which has meant more hours for me.  If I don't work - my coworkers - who I really like - have to pull double shifts.  I don't want to do that to them.  So I've been a postal slave.  I'm tired and I'm cranky and I'm ready to go postal and now totally understand the term.

I really want to post these tips to FaceBook - but I am friends with my coworkers, who are friends with people and so on and someone high up in the postal system might see my words and fire me.  (not the worst thing that could happen - but still....)  There is a much lower chance that anybody from there reads this and yet I can still vent.

If you get mail to your house:

• Pick it up!!  
• If your postal carrier can get your mail there every day, in the rain and the wind and the blazing sun you can wander out the 25 feet to your mailbox and pick it up at least every other day.  If your box is full to overflowing she either has to stand there trying to cram one more piece of mail in, or she has to take time to pull out all your mail, bundle it up and leave a note that your box is full and you must come to the post office to pick it up - which will probably make you cranky as well.  Either way - it takes time she doesn't have.  
• Don't send your children to get the mail from the carrier.
• First - it's against the rules to give it to them.  Second - it's dangerous.  Mail trucks are bigger than children.  They can get squished. 
• Keep your dog away from me unless I indicate I am interested in meeting your dog.  
• I love dogs.  Love them.  But dogs don't always like mail carriers.  If I get bit the USPS considers it my fault and I can get fired.  Really.   I admit - I can't resist puppies.  I'm a sucker.  But I've been met at a mailbox by a child with a big snarling dog she couldn't control.  I backed up to the truck and told her I would not deliver her mail if she and the dog didn't leave.  I'm sure I'm now considered the cranky mail lady but I don't care.  
• If there is anyway to avoid it don't park in front of the mailbox.
• I know there are times when you can't help it but if you can not do it, don't do it. If you HAVE to park in front of the mail box, leave enough room for your carrier to get between the car and the mailbox.  The other day I had to almost sit on the hood of a car in order to get myself to the box.  I'm certain the owner of that car would complain loudly about butt prints or accidental scrapes should I cause damage.  I'd really rather not touch your dirty car, and I'd certainly like to not be responsible for a scratch or dent on your precious vehicle.
• Teach your children not to play around mail trucks. 
• A few weeks ago I had a 7 year old following the truck on his bicycle.  I stopped, he didn't and he slammed into the back of my truck.  Fortunately he wasn't seriously hurt and we both learned a lesson.  Now I scream hysterically at all children within 500 feet of the truck:  "KEEP AWAY FROM ME!!!!!"   (not really but I thought it sounded dramatic..)
• If your mail is in a cluster box - pick it up - and pick up your parcels too!!
• Again, your carrier has to try to cram more mail in your mailbox - but at a cluster box, she is also trying NOT to drop everyone else's mail.  Her arms are full and if it's raining she has no place to put the other mail down while she tries to fit more mail in your box and protect all the mail from getting soaking wet, using her body as a shield.  Pick it up!  If your cluster box has a parcel locker and you don't pick up your parcel - that locker is not available for your neighbor.  If we get to the box and there is no room for a parcel - we often have to walk back to the house (or u-turn and drive back) which takes time and we leave the parcel on the porch - a potential security risk.  Be thoughtful of your neighbors.
• Don't over share... and put on a stupid shirt  (unless you are truly awesome shirtless - then I don't mind so much)
• Yes, I've been regaled with stories you wouldn't believe by shirtless, pot bellied men.  I've been told stories by women who must think I'm their therapist.  Absolutely say hi, be friendly, but until we know each other well enough to go out and have a drink or too, please don't tell me about your impotence or marital problems.
• Teach your children not to tell strangers (even the mail "man") that they are home alone. 
• I've gone to houses with certified letters only to have a child say they were home alone.  I always take the opportunity to tell them not to tell me that!  Maybe it's because I'm in a small town but it just doesn't make sense to me.  Safety first!
• Don't ask us to not deliver "junk" mail.
• We can't censor your mail, and that is what it amounts to.  Absolutely feel free to complain to us about it.  I totally get it and I'm there with you.  But I get paid to deliver it and I have to. If you really don't want the mail you get, contact the sender or get yourself on the "no junk mail" list.  However - keep in mind that junk mail pays our wages.  Without it, we don't get paid - or worse, rates would have to go up in order to pay us.
• Don't point out how late your carrier is.
• She knows.  She's quite possibly nearly sick to her stomach over how late she is.  I have to be back to the office by 5:30.  Period.  The out going mail is picked up at 5:30 and if I miss the 5:30 pick up the boss has to drive the outgoing mail to Bellingham or worse, all the way to Seattle.  I have had to abandon mail delivery, finish the route just picking up out going mail, get it back to the post office and then go finish delivering mail. It's not fun and I often am on the verge of tears by the time I'm nearing the end.  Please don't make me cry.

Those are my complaints and tips and I feel better having vented.   Now - here are some helpful tips

• Wave!  We like to wave.  We are in your neighborhood every day.  We know a lot about your lives (even when you don't over share)  We know when you refinance your house, when a significant other moves out, or moves in.  We know when your children are preparing for college, we know when you are getting married.  We know your patterns.  We might be the first one to discover a problem, or a burglar.  We are trustworthy and we care about you.  If you pick up your mail every day - and all of a sudden you don't - and you live alone we get worried and we come and knock on your door.
• Go ahead and chat with us.  It's part of what I enjoy about this job.. but if I'm running late, which you kindly don't point out, don't hold me prisoner.  Let me get going.
• On a really hot day, I mean, sweltering, sidewalk egg-frying, sun-burning, forest fire days, leave a bottle of ice water in the mail box.  That would be delightful!

I'm done now and I feel better.  Have a lovely day!