I may be a quitter.

There was a day when I would get mad at my boss and threaten to quit, or at least I would run a scene through my head where I stand on a desk and sing that famous song by Johnny Paycheck, "Take this job and shove it.."  Those were always momentary urges that passed fairly quickly.

This new job has me wanting to quit every single day.  I just hate it.  I dread going to work and I seem to be living on excedrine.  Thank goodness they've started production on that again.

After that day that I cried I actually managed to complete my route by myself the very next time I took it out.  This event was celebrated by all my co workers as it was apparently quite a remarkable feat to be accomplished so early in a postal career.  My boss thought it was so swell he immediately started cross-training me on a second route.  That week I worked about 47 hours.  When I was hired I was told they would give me several months to learn my primary route before they exposed me to another.  Apparently if you show an apptitude they take advantage of you.   The first day I took the full load of the second route I was virtually abandoned out there.  It rained - but I had rain gear.  It was dark - but I had TWO headlamps.  I was trying to find mailboxes and houses in the dark, in the rain on a route I hadn't ever travelled before on streets I had never seen before in my life.  Someone finally became available to come and assist me and I still didn't get done until 7:30 p.m.  This time I didn't cry - I was just angry.  Really angry.  Not that it did any good.

This week they have me scheduled for at least 40 hours as well as working Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve.  There go my plans to see my kids over the holidays.  I'm angry again.  I don't like to be angry and I seem to be spending way too much energy controlling it.

This is not what I signed up for.  I don't want to work full time.  I don't want to work holidays.  I want to spend time with my children.  I want to spend time knitting and spinning and weaving and playing with my animals.  I want to, and I'm happy to, work a day a week.  I can even manage 2 days a week with a smile.  4 and 5 days a week make me want to belt out that Johnny Paycheck song at the top of my lungs while standing on top of my LLV.

I really like my co-workers and I even kinda like my bosses.   I hate to leave them in a lurch.  It's the hours and the job itself that make me cranky.  I guess I need to make a decision.

Now.. for something a little lighter: