fondue

I shall not talk about my son leaving for college today. I shall not talk about being two people or my mom wanting me to promise to keep the butt ugly couch after she's dead. I shall also not talk of today's laundry adventure.

Instead.. let me share with you my lovely evening.. A friend came by.. we had steak and baked potatoes and salad. Lot's of lovely conversation, wine with dinner and chocolate fondue for dessert.

It was a lovely evening. Simple things.. good friends. These are things to appreciate.

I miss my mom. :(

A friend of mine died last week. He had cancer.

I KNEW he was sick. I talked to him in May when he first found out about it. He said he was going to beat it. He said this cancer wasn't going to win. I believed him. I wanted to believe him. It made my life easier if I believed him. People beat cancer all the time these days. I kept telling myself, "I'll call him soon" or "I should send him an e-mail today" but then I never did it - I just kept putting it off.

It used to be when I felt bad I could go to my mom, put my head on her shoulder and share whatever ailed me. More often than not if I were in tears, she would join me. Somehow that helped. If she didn't cry along side me, she offered excellent advise, or on occasion, a swift kick in the backside.

I had avoided telling Mom that my friend passed away - I don't think I even told her he had cancer. She liked him a lot. They were both from Missouri. I never, ever talked with him that he didn't ask about her. I finally told her yesterday because I was making arrangement to go to the funeral. It really didn't register with her. She just shrugged her shoulders.

I'm also ashamed to admit I avoided the funeral today. I wanted to go. I intended to go. I just couldn't.

Gosh I suck.

The History of things

Today my mother became obsessed with sharing the history on everything in the house. She had, had, HAD to tell me where this came from, how old it was, how much it cost, who should get it, who I should hide it from as apparently, she KNEW "they" wanted it bad enough to steal it..

She could not be dissuaded from her monologue. She could not be distracted. I was trying to work on a project for the "exec-staff" that had a 5:00 deadline and she demanded I stop everything and listen to her tell stories about these things. So.. what could I do but listen? She dragged me out of the room we were in - because she didn't want the imaginary people listening and then started telling me her stories. The funny thing is she got so much of it wrong! I'm glad I remember the original stories of these thiings. I've been hearing about them for 50 years (shy of about a week!) I know them pretty well by now.

I gotta P!

It is Dutch tradition to get your initial in milk chocolate in your Christmas stocking.

Peter and I swapped initials after Christmas our first year together. He nibbled away on my "S" while I nibbled on his "P." It was fun. Now, as special treats he gives me chocolate P's. I have been working on one P for about 3 months and it's not done yet. I still have an entire chocolate P left and Christmas is only 4 months away! I better get eating quickly.

Chocolate P's aside, I had a pretty good day today. I went to the office and spent the ENTIRE day there. The first time in over 2 weeks I've left home for more than 2 hours at a time. My mother had a fairly good day today. Apparently her imaginary people have started smelling like stinky old men. She wanted zucchini bread and the best she could call it was "that cake with green stuff" and she was not wearing pants when I came home - and didn't seem at all inclined to put them on when I pointed out their absence. But all things considered it wasn't a bad day at all!