The future looms.

Today was my last day at work.  I know.. old news.  It was emotional to say the least.

But now, it's done.  It's time to let go of the past and embrace the future.  To help with that, a co-worker  (oops.. EX-co-worker) gave me a small, used table-top loom.

I think my goat shop needs woven things.  It would be a good fit with the other things I envision for it.  My first attempt at weaving reminds me of my first attempt at knitting..  (see:  Day 2).  I certainly need more practice but I've been oogling looms at the spinning wheel store in Newberg for several years.  It's very exciting to finally have my own.  This loom was purchased overseas in the early 70's.  It's older.  I think there may be pieces missing.  But I'm having a ball with it just the same.

Once I get all moved and settled I think I can craft the missing pieces.  I think I would VERY much enjoy it too. In fact, I might see if I can rustle up a pattern for a larger loom and make the whole thing!  Won't that be fun?

Yeah.. I think I'm gonna dig this new life!

It's time!

According to my count down timer (down there at the bottom) I have zero days and seventeen hours left.

That's all until my goat shop dreams become reality.  In truth, that's not the way it's going to work at all.  But I do have 6 hours or so (end of work day) until I move to the next phase of my life, which is the beginning of making the goatshop dreams come to pass.

Today is my last day at my job.  At the moment I don't have any other employment lined up. But that's okay.  I have SO much to do.

I'm going to Hawaii - then it's home to Salem to grab the animals and off to Peter's for two weeks.  During those two weeks it'll be all about getting the houses ready for occupancy. Peter has spent the last 30 days getting the outside ready.  Now we need to turn our attention to the inside.

Then it's back here to Salem for my son's wedding and on the 25th of July it's the official move with the truck.

Where I'm going to live up there is still a bit up in the air.  I have my travel trailer - but I just can' imagine life in the trailer with a dog and cat.  Cozy!!

Now I must be off to work.  For the last time.  Talk about conflicting emotions!

Time flies like an arrow.. fruit flies like a banana

Here it is.. June 22.  Where has the time gone?

Jill turned 18 yesterday.  By 6:00 pm she had two tattoos.  I wonder if the things she is so passionate about at 18 will still be relevant at 35?  55?  or beyond?  Sigh.. kids.  What can you do?  (Legally I mean...)

My job ends a week from tomorrow.  At this moment in time I don't have a lot to do at work.  Mostly just taking care of the occasional customer who has come to depend on me.  They have someone else to go to now, but you know how people are.. they like the familiar.  I'm just like a comfy pair of worn out slippers to them.

I'm not letting the prospect of joblessness get me down.  I've been applying for an assortment of jobs and taking placement tests.  I rocked at the reading portion of the tests. Didn't do so well with the math portion.  Percentages & multipying or dividing fractions continue to be a challenge.  It makes me wonder what I was doing besides math in high school math class. I'm pretty sure there is a 60/60 chance I was there most of the time.

I also just got word (like 10 minutes ago!) that the buyers accepted my counter offer of their counter offer of my counter offer of their offer on my house.  I was at my absolute lowest point and couldn't have gone down any farther.  Yay!  They take possession July 25th.  Now we just need to keep our fingers crossed that the inspection and appraisal go in our favor. 

I leave for Hawaii (yes.. ANOTHER vacation!) in just 12 days.  I've never been to Hawaii.  We're going to Maui.  I'm really looking forward to watching Jill get a surfing lesson, kayaking out to the green sea turtles and taking the road to Hana. It's really not so bad being jobless!  So far...

Milestones

Graduated!  

My daughter graduated high school Friday.  It was a good day for her.  She won a small scholarship and a couple of school art awards.  She is preparing to strike out on her own and become all that she has the potential to become.  Since finances are not what most of us wish for, and since I'm looking at unemployment in a couple weeks her great plan is to go off to community college in the fall - get her prerequisites out of the way and then head to the Art Institute the year after.  I think it's a good plan.

If only she would concede to live with me while attending community college all will be perfect.

Saying good-bye to my parents.

My father passed away in 1992.  His last request: "I don't want to be cold."  So my mom kept his ashes with her for 18 years.  Keeping them warm.  They had a special place in my house for the last 7 years.

My mother passed away in December.    Her last instructions were to mix their ashes and scatter them at one of their favorites spots in the desert.  This place, she had said, was very special to them.   The two sets of ashes have been side-by-side until yesterday, the big day.  The day that would have been their 58th wedding anniversary.

I immediately discovered a small problem. I didn't have anything large enough to mix them in.  I briefly considered a large tupperware container I have - but I wasn't sure I could ever use it again if it had been the temporary vessel for my parents and it seemed so impractical to throw away perfectly good tupperware.  I am my mother's daughter after all.

With no solution at hand, I placed both containers - unmixed but side-by-side - in a picnic basket for transport.  I was playing it by ear and figured I'd figure it out when the time came.

Peter, Jill and I took the long drive to the trailhead of the designated spot.  We parked and surveyed the landscape.  The trail had degraded a bit in the last 20 years but a little adventure was okay by me.  I carried them down the slippery, treacherous slope, around the chain-link fence, through the bushes, across some boulders and finally reached the perfect location.

I opened both bags and poured Mom's cremains on top of Dad's and just let them hang out there awhile all snuggly and cozy-like. I considered closing up the back and giving it a shake - but that seemed wrong.  How does one know what the protocol is in these instances??  There should be a book.

I left them together in the bag, in the picnic basket while we paused to enjoy the scenery and feel what made this place so special.  It spoke to me.  I understood.  The sun was very warm, my parents were together.  It was time.  Their ashes mixed together as they left the bag.  It worked perfectly.

They were good people.
They were good parents.
My brother and I are two very lucky kids.

I have stress.

I think I have it anyway.  I can't say I haven't slept well in days, I don't seem to have a problem there - it's the nights that sleep is a stranger. Yesterday in a meeting, I woke up just before that drippy drool thing made it all the way out of my mouth. My lips were very wet and I furtively looked around, but no one was staring.  As nervous as I was about drooling during my meeting nap, it didn't stop me from falling back asleep again.  The room was warm, the voices droned on and on.  I tell you.. I will NOT miss meetings.

I've lost track of my remaining days in this town and at work.  On purpose.  I don't want to know.  I'm terrified.  The future is promising and incredibly scary.

I got my lay off notice this week - my last day is June 30.  Totally expected and this new place doesn't require I do that horrid bumping game.  That's good.  Jill graduates tomorrow night.  That's good.  She's gotten several awards and that one small scholarship.  That's good. 

Everything is good.  Why am I such a wreck? 

It will be so interesting to see what next week or next month brings.  I'm so intrigued!  (and slightly nauseous).