Bad daughter!

or bad grandaughter! Jill filmed this today while I was at the office. There are probably at least a zillion reasons why I shouldn't put this out on the web. Maybe even a law or two..

In search of the perfect place

The search has begun in earnest to find mom a nice place to live.

Thursday we looked at one place that wasn't too awful, except the Host or Manager or whatever you want to call him made my skin crawl. He spoke in a child-like voice, was condescending and treated my mother like an idiot. My mother is NOT dumb. She is confused. There is a HUGE difference. We left that place with a very bad taste in our mouths.

Then we went to another place that was much smaller and homier. On our way out Mom said, "are we leaving? I wasn't paying attention!" So we made an appointment to go back on Friday.

We went back, but because of some confusion we went to the wrong place. There were two very similar places, side-by-side and I had accidentally made an appointment for the other place. My mother liked it very much. I liked it better than the place next door. We thought we found a good fit. Only, they have no private rooms available - nor will they as they move people from shared rooms to single rooms within the house - and she's not willing to share.

We went looking again today. We found a place that was decorated so very lovely. The hallways were made to look like streets and the offices & rooms were shops on the street. The old ice cream shop, the beauty parlor, and more. They had "apartments" and 2 chickens and a rabbit. It was lovely. Mom said, and I quote, "I will commit suicide if you make me live here."

Not a good sign. I've run out of options for places with memory care. Now we have assisted living (which isn't really enough assistance I think) or a nursing home (which is WAY too much assistance).

Tomorrow we are going to look at a standard assisted living place. Cross your fingers for us.

If at first you don't succeed..

Goat's Milk Cheese - Try #2

I took my failed attempt at making goat cheese a bit hard. The concept was good, the recipe wasn't. I found another recipe - not much different from the first - but this one includes specifics like temperatures and amounts.

So.. Here I go again!

First, heat 2 quarts of goats milk to 190 degrees (a step missing in the previous attempt) - in a stainless steel pot (another missing step - but one I happened to follow anyway).

Then, take it from the heat and let it cool to 100 degrees THEN add the lemon juice. 2 teaspoons to be exact. (yet more missing details)





So.. I did that..

I added 2 teaspoons of lemon juice..

nothing..

I added an additional 2 teaspoons of apple cider vinegar..

nothing. It was supposed to get all chunky and curdly and .. well CHEESY.


I guess I shall try again someday. I'd like to find a supplier of fresh outta the goat goat's milk rather than processed and pasteurized milk.. Maybe THAT's my problem.

I'm sure I'm not making any mistakes. (HAH!)

76 trombones in the orchestra!

Only two trombones in this marching band though. Last night was my daughters big debut as a member of the McKay High School Marching Band, trombone #2.

I arranged for a "grammysitter" and off I went to the football game - primarily for the half-time. I have not been to a football game in 33 years (I did the math). Go Centennial Eagles!! The marching band was awesome. They've been having grueling practices for weeks and their work shows.

I really do need to learn to guard what I'm saying when I'm in public though and not just spew whatever words come to me like my mother does. Once mom said to me, in what she thought was a discreet tone, about a woman with a baby... "How can a girl that ugly have a baby?"

I can't get away with that. So here's MY story. When we first got there the cheerleaders were chanting, "Stetsman! Stetsman!" I took out my program, thinking Stetsman must be a key player and that they were cheering him on. No stetsman in the line-up. I said to my companion, loud enough to be heard over the din, Who's Stetsman? She said she didn't know.. perhaps they were saying "Statesman?" No.. that's our local newspaper. Finally, we figured out they were saying "Scotsman!" That's the name of the team! I said, (again, loudly so my friend could hear me) "They weren't very good cheerleaders if you couldn't understand what they were saying!" I got the real stink eye from this lady sitting in front of us.. It seemed she was the cheerleading coach. Ooops.

Then there was this little child sitting next to me. About three years old. Screaming with glee over the game. Jumping up and down. Having a blast. Absolutely piercing my eardrums with enthusiasm. Cutest little child. Long curly hair, Petite little features, huge sparkly earrings. I said to the mother.. "I love her enthusiasm!" Mother said to me. "he's a boy." and I got the stink eye from her too! I think I should stick to clapping.

Food for thought...

Make it stop!

I have a song stuck in my head. It's been in there all day running about willy-nilly. (I suspect there is some empty space inside my head and it's picking up speed going around the corners). It started when I drove the car. The car which was playing Jill's choice in music. So.. not only do I have a song stuck in my head but it's one I don't recognize as well as one I don't particularly care for. The melody keeps playing over and over and over again. I can't make out the words. It's a woman's voice though. The tune goes something like this..

da da da da, da da da dada da.. recognize it?

I should go listen to something dramatically different just to shake it loose.

House news. The big fish died. I want to be sad, but inside I'm thinking one less fish tank to clean and one step closer to Goat Shop dreams! He was a very beautiful fish. A fancy goldfish that looked something like this... Only his eyes bugged out and his tail was frillier. I would have taken a picture but of course I didn't think of it until AFTER he died and he wasn't so pretty then. We are now down to one fish. A little black skirt tetra. I considered making it a double burial at sea.. but couldn't bring myself to it.

Mom was watching monkeys on TV yesterday. The TV wasn't on.. and I think she was trying to tell me they were ON the TV.. Like on top of it. I couldn't see them so I'm not really sure. I'm also back to being Susan today and thinks I have two daughters. Tomorrow, if all goes well, we're going to go look at a couple places she might want to live. If all goes well. It was the plan for today, but today didn't go well. Tomorrow will go well.

I'll not be the next "Cake Boss!"

I made a cake for Peter.

It was a sour cream chocolate confection with a chocolate fudge frosting. Or at least that was what it was intended to be.

The cake sunk. Then crumbled on it's way out of the pan. I doubled the frosting recipe and still didn't have enough frosting. I made more. I burned it. I know.. you ask.. "How can you burn frosting???" This frosting required that the chocolate be melted in a double boiler. Since I had not anticipated the necessity for a second batch my butter was still a little solid so I tossed it in with the chocolate to melt. I finished the frosting only to find it tasted quite scalded and icky.

I tossed that entire second batch of frosting away and discovered I was out of chocolate. Cleverly I thought that perhaps there was WAY too much chocolate in this cake anyway and that it might be tasty to cut the chocolate with another flavor. So.. White, vanilla, 7 minute frosting it was. I figured that I could swirl the white with the brown and end up with a swirly marbly effect that would made a lovely cake.

Not so much.. I'm quite embarrassed (but at the same time morbidly entertained) by my efforts. The overall taste was way too sweet, diabetic coma inducing but other than that the flavor was quite okay.

Thanks to my daughter's willingness to hang with the g'ma (who has returned to her confusing world) Peter and I were able to go on an actual date last night. Sushi and bowling. He won. For the first time ever, he won.

It was his birthday after all. It wouldn't have been very nice to beat him.

It's Friday!

It's been a good day!

I took my mom for a ride today. I built it up.. I told her we were going to go have some fun! In reality - I had to get some stuff done and the only way I could do it was to take her along. We went to the car appraiser place and arranged to get the car fixed. What a relief to finally have THAT chore done!

Just a couple minutes after we left the repair shop my mom looked at me and said, "I get it! It all makes sense!" I've fallen for that before and had her turn around and ask me if my parents were alive or dead.. so I didn't really believe her. But.. it was true! It was like someone had flipped a switch. She new it all. Everything. How exciting! She knew who I was (and am!), she remembered Jerry and all of her grandkids, she remembered old things and new things. We chatted up a storm. It was such a wonderful feeling to have her back. I don't, for a minute, think this will last but I shall enjoy it for all it's worth while it does.

After her revelation we went shopping and had lunch, just like old times. During our shopping excursion I found lovely gifts for Peter.

And.. I would like to thank one and all for your great suggestions. EJA.. great ideas! Tara.. awesome (that's what's in the blue bag)! Cybil.. you rock!

Shiver me Timbers! Avast Yon Matey!

My best friend is turning 50. It's true.. I'm "the older woman" by 15 days. Peter turns 50 on Saturday. That would be international "talk like a pirate day" as well.

Normally I'm quite an organized sort. I would have planned and purchased and crafted and hunted down the perfect gift.

Not so this year. I'm completely disorganized. I did find one thing but it won't be ready to be given until next week. Very poor planning. I wish I could tell you what it was, but then *he* would read about it and the surprise would be gone. I'm not very good at keeping secrets to start with.

Not only that but the thing I got for him is a bit lame. It's not bad.. but it really doesn't have that "wow" factor.. especially when he gave me candy, a book (something about getting old so that shouldn't really count), two dozen roses, this head scratchy wirey thing and this...


In case you're wondering.. It's a custom made, stylized "S" with an intertwined heart. Pendant and earrings. It had "wow" factor. I'm quickly running out of time, I can't hardly leave the house and I'm out of ideas. Anybody got any good ones?

*Oh.. and Peter? You're not allowed to read the comments!

Back to real life...

Let's start with a pretty vacation picture...

Let's reflect on the peace.

The beauty. The serenity.

The warmth and comfort of the sun.

The feel of the warm sand under my feet.

The scrambling up and down cliffs.. (No. let's not reflect on that).

The relaxing sound of the waves and the wind.

Breathe deep. yes. I think I've re-found my chi..

That's enough! Back to real life!

My daughter has "back-to-school" cooties. Every kid seems to get them at the beginning of the school year. You throw 2000 kids together in close confines and cooties swarm like South American Killer Bees. She has been huddled near the toilet most of the day. Poor baby. I really feel bad for her. She doesn't need a lot of attention, but she does need her Mommy a little. (YAY for Mommies everywhere!)

Then there's my mother.. she started the day by playing the game "who am I?" I only got a few clues..

• My ex sister-in-law, Madge used to be "the talk of the town."
  
• I was just an innocent little kid.
• Effie did the same thing, only was more discreet and looked down her nose at Madge.
• Madge lived around the corner from the post office.

Not much to go on.. then she threw me a curve ball and asked me what my last name was. Yikes! I had no idea!

She took a nap and shortly thereafter we began the "I am the enemy" thing again. I really hate that. She was sure that I was doing something illegal by purchasing my home without her signature. I could not explain it to her satisfaction and finally had to call in the the big guns - aka my brother.

I made a beautiful pot roast with home-grown potatoes and onions cooked to a lovely tenderness. No one ate it but me. :(

This evening we noticed Mom had started to puff up like a balloon. Her legs are so swollen she can hardly bend her knees. I've given her an extra "water pill" and called the cardiologist. If she's not better by morning off we go to see them. Or.. maybe we will make a trip to the ER tonight.. Let's just see how it goes. Isn't life a great adventure?

Vacation is over.. Sharon got cranky.

Gosh I love Peter. He's like.. the bomb. The best. The most wonderful guy.

However..

Sunday we left here, got there, parked the trailer, got in the car, pointed north and ran up and down hills and cliffs and rocks. The weather was stormy, the seas were whipped to a frenzy. There was drama at sea.

We got back to the campsite just in time to start a campfire, admire it for a few minutes and crash.

Monday we got up, headed south, ran up and down hills and cliffs, rocks and lighthouses. We made it all of 10 miles in 10 hours. We saw beautiful scenery. The ocean had quieted and the weather cleared. The sun was out and it was hot! We dawdled for about 2 hours over lunch (at the brew pub!), but other than that.. we were on the go all day.


Tuesday we headed south again. The weather was still fabulous and the scenery continued to amaze. I've lived in Oregon my whole entire life and I've NEVER been very far south of Newport or north of Florence. We went to the original Yaquina lighthouse. The coastline get's fantastic. We made it as far as Cook's Chasm, a particularly rugged bit of coast. We got back to the campsite after dark - just barely in time to enjoy a fire for a little bit.


Wednesday, again it was up and going. We headed south again to view the wonders. Up and down the cliffs. Wandering around on rough shores and rugged landscape. Peter took lots of photos. To pass the time while Peter photographs EVERYTHING, I've taken up a hobby.. the ancient art of rock stacking. This is one of my better masterpieces.



By late Wednesday afternoon I was dragging. I was uncommunicative. I was cranky. I'd been having a good time, but I'm overweight and out of shape and scrambling up and down inclines for 4 days was definitely wearing on me. It's not unusual for Peter to spend hours a day shoveling, digging, hauling, moving, planting and more. He's fit. I just wanted to sit. I wanted to poke at the campfire and read a book and drink too much wine and nap if I wanted to.

I whined and complained.. Peter listened. Funny thing.. it really is true, men CAN'T read your mind! You have to tell them what you want.

Thursday we slept in, We meandered north to Depot Bay, I poked in the shops, bought a few gifts. We saw a whale. We went back to the beach, Peter flew kites while I relaxed with a book and a bottle of wine. We watched the sun set. We had a campfire. I fell asleep by the fire, only to be disturbed by an angry racoon (did you know they growl?)


The vacation was wonderful - even the fast paced part. I'd like not to go back to work tomorrow. It's so unfortunate.

Break time!

The trailer is nearly packed.

There is vodka in the freezer, Old Benson (which was pretty darn good after the first glass!) in the cupboard, towels, food and firewood. What more could we need?

Jerry is here to stay with Mom, feed the dog, feed the pig, and make sure Jill doesn't run away to Paris to become a starving artist in some run-down sub-let attic. Jerry has been a caretaker in training for two days, I'm confident he'll do a fine job.

Peter and I are hooking up the RV and headed to the coast for the better part of a week. Mentally, I'm already there. Jill has promised me to be on her best behavior.

Too bad we can't check in until 4:00...

See you in a week!

I'm 50. It's official

Jill made a birthday cake for me.

It was her first attempt at fondant. I think she did a marvelous job!

Oh My Gosh

I was dealing with it fine.

It didn't bother me.

Honest.

But then.

The most HORRIBLE thing happened.

It changed my perspective on EVERYTHING.

It's awful!

It's horrendous!

It's heinous!

It's disgusting!

It's vile!

I think I shall pretend it never happened.